


True Love's Kiss

by LdyAnne



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Challenge Response, Community: mcsmooch, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-14
Updated: 2011-08-14
Packaged: 2017-10-22 15:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/239540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LdyAnne/pseuds/LdyAnne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney's been struck down by Ancient technology and only one thing can help him.  Written for the Kissing Meme on LJ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rodney should know better by now. Nothing good ever came from touching something on Atlantis. They had ample evidence to support that fact, and yet, he hadn't seemed to learn his lesson yet.

He laid there on the cold examination bed, unable to contribute anything to the debate raging around him because he'd *touched* something again.

"Is he alive?" Elizabeth asked, anxiety evident in her tone. She was leaning over Rodney, in his line of sight and she looked as worried as she sounded.

Yes, Rodney wanted to shout it out, but he couldn't blink his eyes, let alone get his mouth to work. He shuddered at the thought that they might think he was dead and let Dr. Biro perform an autopsy. Elizabeth moved away and all he could see was the ceiling.

"No," Carson said thoughtfully, "Yes."

 _Make up your mind,_ Rodney thought.

"I don't know what he is." He felt Carson's fingers on his wrist, like he might actually be able to discern a rhythm if he left his fingers there long enough. "According to my instruments he's in some form of suspended animation."

"Like the other Weir we found?" Sheppard asked from somewhere off to his right.

Rodney approved of the question, it was a good one. Was he going to wake up 10,000 years in the future with all of his friends dead?

Carson let go of his wrist, and Rodney wished he would take it again, just so he could feel something. Anything. "This is different," Carson answered Sheppard and incidentally Rodney. "That Elizabeth Weir was in stasis but she aged, slowly, but she aged. As far as I can tell Rodney will stay like this, at this age and state of being until he wakes up. If he wakes up."

 _Way to think positive there, Carson,_ Rodney thought with disgust.

"Let's think positive," Sheppard practically echoed Rodney's thoughts. "We're going to figure this out. What do you think, Zelenka?"

 _Oh, great, now I'm in trouble,_ was Rodney's first thought. But then he amended it because if he couldn't work on the problem himself, the person he'd want working on the problem was Radek Zelenka. Of course he'd prefer *himself.*

"I have been studying the device and I think I know what it does," Radek said slowly.

Rodney knew that tone. He wasn't going to like what Radek was going to say.

"Well," Sheppard prompted when Radek didn't speak up immediately.

Radek cleared his throat and Rodney felt dread sweep through him. Or he would have if he could oh, actually feel anything.

"It seems device is some sort of Ancient matchmaking device."

"You mean like eHarmony?" Sheppard asked, disbelief evident in his tone. And Rodney would be right there with him if he wasn't lying completely unable to move or contribute in any useful way.

"Well, no," Radek said. Rodney could hear the roll of his eyes. "This is incredibly complex and sophisticated technology here, used so that the Ancients could find their perfect mate."

"You mean like eHarmony?" Sheppard repeated.

Zelenka gave an aggrieved sigh and then agreed, "Yes, Colonel, like eHarmony. Rodney will wake up for his true love's kiss."

It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Really.

Rodney always wanted to try that experiment and see if you could actually hear a pin drop if conditions were quiet enough, but he never seemed to have the time. It looked like he'd have the time now, just not the ability to actually conduct the experiment.

"What kind of a crazy-ass experiment is that?" Sheppard asked.

"It is no more crazy than ascension machine," Radek retorted. "No more crazy than actual Ancient sims game."

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth asked tentatively. "Maybe I should look at the translations."

"You are welcome to look," Radek said, his tone stiff and offended that she was questioning his work, just like he would be if it were Rodney. "I do not think it will change the facts."

"True love's kiss?" Sheppard asked, skepticism coloring his voice. "Isn't that a bit... trite?"

"Well, Colonel," Radek answered in his 'let me explain it to them like they were children' voice, "if you are going to be alive for thousands of years as an ascended being, wouldn't you want to know who your true love was?"

Sheppard didn't have an answer for that. Rodney wished he could snort. Just a little bit.

"What do we do?" Elizabeth asked uncertainly.

"We could find seven dwarves to guard his body to start with," Radek offered, so not helping.

"Something helpful," Sheppard snapped at him, sounding supremely pissed.

 _What did he have to be pissed about?_ Rodney wondered. He wasn't the one lying in stasis, while still being completely conscious.

"Gentlemen," Elizabeth started.

"This isn't helping," Beckett interrupted them. "Alright, I will continue running tests and Radek will continue working on the machine with your help, Elizabeth. We'll figure this one out."

And they all left, leaving him there. Alone.

It was incredibly frustrating to be totally conscious but unable to say or do anything to let the people around you know what was happening.

They took really good care of him in the infirmary. They put him in his favorite bed and changed him into the red scrubs that he liked the best. And it really was incredibly embarrassing to have people change your clothes from the skin out while you were aware of it. Oh, they didn't make any comments or laugh at him or anything. It was just knowing that the nurses saw him like that a lot that would have made him blush all the way to his toes if he were capable.

It took a couple of days of Carson running tests, but it became evident that they weren't going to 'figure this one out.' No matter what they did, what they tried, Rodney remained stubbornly unresponsive.

"I don't know what to do next," Carson admitted one afternoon when all of Rodney's team plus Elizabeth and Radek stood around his bed once again.

"Should we not try this 'true love's kiss'?" Teyla asked uncertainly.

"How do we know what they meant by 'true love's kiss'?" Sheppard asked. "Is that Rodney's true love or just someone who loves McKay?" Sheppard's voice was unusually hard.

"That may take awhile," Ronon observed. There was the sound of flesh hitting flesh and Ronon gave an aggrieved, "Hey!"

"You deserved it," Teyla informed him.

Rodney really *did* love Teyla in that moment and vowed that he would also have his own revenge on Ronon when he was able.

There was silence after that until Carson said, "Let me just try a few more things," he said.

And they left him there again. Alone.

Carson had screens put up around Rodney's bed to afford him privacy. Rodney was grateful. While he couldn't see anyone unless they were leaning over him in his direct line of sight, he could hear the footsteps as people passed by, feel them stare at him like he was a display in a department store window.

Carson showing up at his bedside wasn't an unusual thing.

It was comforting to Rodney to hear Carson's brogue and to feel the pressure of the doctor's fingers on his wrist. Carson always tended to do more of his exams himself rather than relying on his equipment alone. And now he did more than ever, running his hands gently over Rodney's slack limbs, taking his pulse, other innocuous checks. Rodney liked it; he felt a little more connected when Carson did that, more cared for.

So when Carson just stood there staring down at Rodney, not doing anything, Rodney's worry notched up.

"Rodney, I do nae know what to do now," Carson confessed, his voice low and harsh. "I am so sorry, lad, I feel like I've failed you."

Rodney longed to be able to reassure him. He hated the tone of defeat in Carson's voice. Sure Rodney teased him a lot about medicine being voodoo, but he didn't really feel that way. Carson was the best doctor he knew; Rodney wouldn't trust his life to anyone else.

"Not that I think this will actually work, but I wouldn't be much of a healer if I ignored a possible cure, so..." Carson bent over and pressed his mouth to Rodney's.

Rodney had kissed Carson before. Well, Cadman had kissed Carson but she'd taken Rodney along for the ride. So, Rodney kind of knew what kissing Carson was like. He could imagine the softness of his lips, the way they would feel against Rodney's, but he didn't *really* feel anything.

Carson gave it every opportunity, but it was no good, there was nothing.

He pulled away and there was a lengthy pause, Carson waiting to see if anything was going to change. There was heavy sigh, "I'm sorry, Rodney, but I had to try."

Rodney appreciated the effort, he really did. Carson patted him on the shoulder and turned away.

That's when the kisses started.

The nurses were the first to try, which surprised the hell out of Rodney. He didn't think they even *liked* him. The kisses were soft and shy and hesitant. Rodney could just picture them surveying the infirmary making sure there was no one around who might see them. As much as it warmed him that they'd try, he felt nothing, just a press of lips against his and a sinking of his heart every time it failed.

One day Elizabeth showed up in his line of sight again. She looked anxious and kind of nervous. She put her hand on his cheek.

"Rodney," she whispered, "come back to us." Then she pressed her lips to his.

He really wanted it to work. He knew Elizabeth wasn't his true love but he wanted to feel again, he wanted to get up and go to the mess. God, he missed eating. He wanted to go to his lab and yell at his minions...

But there was nothing, just Elizabeth pressing her mouth to his, it felt like that life-saving technique, mouth to mouth, for all the good it did.

"I'm sorry," she said after a second, her mouth still pressed to his. She gave a little sob and then she was gone.

The next to come to him was Teyla. And yeah, he could so totally see Teyla as his one true love if it wasn't for the fact that she could kick his ass whenever she wanted.

"Dr. McKay... Rodney," she said, "I would be honored to be your true love." When she kissed him, Rodney *wanted* to feel it. This was Teyla after all, and he'd imagined this once or twice. Her mouth on his, her tongue licking into his mouth...

But, damn, there was nothing. It was worse than all the others because it was Teyla. He didn't want to disappoint Teyla, she asked so little.

When it became obvious that it hadn't worked, she kissed him on the cheek, "I am so sorry, Rodney," she said. "I had hoped..." she didn't finish her thought. But Rodney knew. Yeah, he'd hoped, too.

Then they all started to come, at odd hours of the day and night. The women of the expedition would show up at his bedside and whisper something to him and press their lips to his. It really pissed Rodney off that he couldn't feel a thing. It was prime fantasy material except for the whole not being able to feel a damn thing.

It shocked the hell out of him when Cadman showed up.

"Hey, McKay," she whispered, "wouldn't it be a kick if it were me?" she said as she kissed him hard and passionately. Rodney could almost feel it. And he tensed just thinking what a disaster it would be if it turned out that by some stroke of twisted Ancient fate Cadman was his true love. He couldn't really relax until after she'd gone and it was the next day and the nurse was giving him a sponge bath.

Yeah, another thing he really didn't ever want to be conscious for again.

Miko came and Heightmeyer. The woman who did most of the cooking for the expedition. He almost didn't recognize her without her hairnet. Soldiers. Scientists. One by one they slipped past the curtain, approached Rodney's bed and kissed him.

As they kissed him, Rodney kept a tally in his head. He knew when he'd been kissed by every woman in the expedition. Of course he'd known that none of them were his true love, but he'd hoped.

One night Radek appeared at his bedside.

"Do not kill me for this," he muttered as he leaned down and kissed Rodney.

Rodney was touched; he really was, that Radek would do that. Of course he *was* going to have to kill Radek once he got out of this. If he got out of this.

Rodney was beginning to lose hope. Because he'd known all along who his true love was, but he didn't hold out a hope in hell that that person would ever show up at his bedside.

Except he did. He had. John kept showing up at odd hours between all the women to threaten...

"Enough already," he said, "get out of that bed or I'll drag your lazy ass out myself."

And cajole....

"Come on, McKay," Sheppard said, "the Daedalus came today and they're having real honest to god chocolate cake in the mess today. Get out of bed and we'll go eat the whole god damned cake."

And plead...

"God, Rodney, I need you to get out of the bed... We need you to get out of the bed. Really, Radek is going to blow us all up... or someone is. You should see the techs in the control room; they're eating over the equipment because they know you can't do anything about."

Finally he resorted to shouting,

"Get up, McKay, I've had enough of this shit. You hear me?"

Then one night Sheppard showed up and just stood by Rodney's bed for the longest time, his hand on Rodney's wrist.

"Okay, McKay," Sheppard said at last, "you've forced me to this. So, just remember that it's all your fault."

If his heart had been beating, Rodney knew it would be going a million miles a minute.

Sheppard's hand was on Rodney's face and it was warm and solid.

He could feel it. He could feel Sheppard's hand on his face.

Then Sheppard was in his line of sight, leaning over Rodney and moving in closer.

Their lips touched and Rodney felt a weird sort of prickling, like when his arm fell asleep when he used it as a pillow at his desk.

Sheppard pressed little kisses onto Rodney's mouth and whenever they touched there was the prickling. Finally, finally, he pressed their mouths together and Sheppard's lips were soft and sweet sliding against Rodney's.

Rodney *wanted* to be able to breathe so he could feel it speed up, he wanted to be able to move so he could cup the back of Sheppard's neck and pull him in.

The first he knew that he was capable of anything, Rodney's lips parted beneath Sheppard's allowing access to Sheppard's tongue. And, god, it was good. Sheppard tasted of coffee and that stupid notturkey that he ate all the time. At the first touch of their tongues, Sheppard jerked back in surprise.

"Rodney?" he stuttered.

Rodney managed to move his hand enough to snag Sheppard's sleeve.

"John..." Rodney got out.

They stared into one another's eyes for a long moment before John leaned back in and captured his lips again. This time Rodney could participate and it was so much better that way – to feel John's lips on his, to suck on John's lower lip a little and hear John moan.

John's lips were warm and that warmth spread all the way through Rodney's body. He could move again and all he really wanted to do was pull John down next to him and just keep on kissing him forever.

Coming up for air, Sheppard looked down at him. His lips were kiss-swollen and red.

"True love's kiss?" he asked wonderingly.

"It took you long enough to figure it out," Rodney told him before pulling him down into another kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

Teyla was fine with John and Rodney as a couple and she understood the reasons why the real truth couldn't be known, so they told everyone that it was really Teyla's kiss that had revived Rodney. It just had a delayed effect because Rodney didn't have the Ancient gene naturally and Teyla had Wraith DNA.

They waited a couple of weeks and had a loud and public argument in the mess hall complete with thrown food and Teyla kicking Rodney's ass. Rodney was heartbroken, of course, but he theorized that for the above reasons the machine hadn't functioned correctly. He disassembled it so that no one else could be caught by it.

Then John and Rodney lived happily ever after.

(Or as happily as you could live in the Pegasus Galaxy. They had the usual fights over John's persistent tendencies to throw himself into danger and offer himself up as a sacrifice to save everyone else, and Rodney's habit of staying up for days in a row when he was in the throws of scientific ecstasy and not eating anything but MREs and power bars. They still had to watch out for the Wraith and the Genii around every corner, but overall they were happy.)

  


  


  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

  



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